Posted by: allaboutcheryl | June 9, 2016

Mirror of my Soul

img_1634While I am here helping my daughter, I have hours of alone time while she is at work. Because she doesn’t have an Internet router in her house, I can only use Wi-Fi when she is here. But that’s probably a good thing. I’m not really a TV watcher, talk shows and soap operas don’t interest me. And I can only watch so much news before I get depressed and they start repeating stories. So I have been using this quiet, alone time as a time of reflection, of soul-searching. Of looking deep inside of m to see the good, the bad and the ugly.

As much as I want to believe that I am perfect, that I know it all, that I am always right. That is not true. But I don’t know that. I operate as though I am the greatest thing since sliced bread or as my granddaughter would say, the Queen.

I never knew how controlling I am.

I want to tell you whhat to do.

I want to tell you what not to do.

I what to tell you when and how to do it.

And when my precious, always right, should always be appreciated advice is NOT taken…OMG!! There is heck to pay!

But why?

Who died and left me in charge of raising EVERYBODY?

OMG!! Even though I may think that I’m always right and the other person is always wrong, that’s not true.

Why can’t I stop this?

I can offer my advice, my suggestions, my thoughts. If they are accepted, okay. And if they are not. I have to learn to get angry, sulk, pout. Or look for an opportunity to say ‘I told you so!’

It’s not right. Everyone has the right to grow and learn at their on pace. I can’t make them do anything, and we are talking about grown people.

I probably won’t stay so stressed out if I took my hands off so many things.

That’s going to be hard. But I need to try.


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