Posted by: allaboutcheryl | January 6, 2016

Closed Door Epiphany

  
Everyone is the way they are for some unknown reason. 

With some of our behavioral tendencies, quirks or idiosyncrasies, we have no control over them.

Others, we can change if or when we really want to.

One of the things that I’ve noticed about myself, is that I am somewhat of a loner.

In a group of people, I will usually find myself by myself.

Even with my relatives, my siblings, I have the least interactions with them.

Why?

Is it partially due to the middle child syndrome?

I can and do push myself to be more outgoing, more involved, more connected. I have friends, a few close ones who enjoy and seek out my company. 

But, at times, I am content to be alone. To read, which I love. To learn, this is why I am such a geek. To write, which I’ve been doing all my life. And to just to chill…ahhhhhh…!

So this is why the door to my at home office is usually closed. It’s just so that I can be in my defined area. A space that is all mine. A place where I can be me.

I can come into my office, which is where I am now and stay in here for HOURS. 

Jackie knows that this closed door is not shutting him out. It is closing me in.

He has no problems, knocking and coming in. Yes. You must knock first to enter.

But now that Erica and Maya are here, I do not want to give the perception that I want to be left completely alone. I want to have a better relationship with Erica. And a closed door, sends the wrong signal. I want Maya to walk past my office and stop in to see ‘Grandma’ instead of walking pass a shut door, with an invisible, ‘Do Not Enter’ sign covering the entire entryway.  

I am so glad that the Holy Spirit brought this to my attention. 

This is my epiphany!

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Responses

  1. Such a beautifully crisp piece of writing. I really enjoyed reading about your epiphany. A very touching piece of self awareness. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Happy New Year!

    • Thank you Lexa. I am anxious to see where the Lord will lead me this year. And of course, I will be sharing!


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