Posted by: allaboutcheryl | March 31, 2015

Lent Day, 36

I feel regret in my spirit, that I am using this time of commitment and dedication to the Lord to combine it with losing weight.

I tossed and turned about this all last evening. So much so, that I was so confused within myself that I ate dinner. And not just my Daniel Fast type dinner. I made spaghetti, with (legal) sides, and I did eat a serving of the spaghetti.

Why am I such a vain person, where I would take this time that I wanted to set aside for communion and fellowship with the Lord and turn it into something else?

The Holy Spirit is now convicting me. That I have not done that. I have not spent anymore time with Him, than I normally do. All I have done during this Lenten sedan was concentrated on, manipulated or worried or thought about what I was or wasn’t going to eat. And if the desire for me to eat, was strong enough, then I ate.

So I need to stop being hypocritical, and righteous, like I did everything else that I was supposed to do, when actually I did nothing.

This type of fast was my doing, not Theirs.

I chose something, even before going into it, I knew would be difficult.

The church fast was just for one day a week, on Wednesday (and this is the very first time since I been at this church that we have fasted during Lent). But I thought to myself, oh no! as I am filled with pride. Not just one day. I can do this more than one day.

So, I came up with my plan. My plan that I thought was so much better. So much more spiritual and sacrificing. But in the end, I couldn’t do it. And I didn’t even spend more time with the Lord.

*”For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” Jeremiah 29:11, New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)*

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned against You.

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